What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

TEXT:

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why are flat Earthers made fun of when they seemingly don't exist? I have only met one flat Earther in 18 years.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I dreamt my mother had died and I cried so much in my dream. What does it mean?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Will Canadians still buy American products?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why did my crush like me for only two days in a row?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What is the gayest experience you have seen in prison?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

How do people in your country say "you're welcome" in their native language(s)? Is it a commonly known phrase or do most people just reply with "no problem"?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Is 1500 calories enough for a 5’3 15-year-old who is non-active?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Is fellatio addictive?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I just cannot wake up early, even if I sleep on time. What should I do?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …